and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
