1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
