I want to stick my p in your. b.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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