Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my poor anus
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize