oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
