My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
