Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
where are my eyebrows?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
