Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
