her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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