You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
