We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
