i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
