I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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