Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
A+ Viking dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
