what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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