Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
