I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
