so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
