My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
