Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
