Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
