It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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