can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
