Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think i have two assholes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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