I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's never too late to be topless.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
