My brain says no but my pants say off.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
