Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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