i just google imaged poop.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
