I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I wear drunk well.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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