he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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