you traded sex for a burrito?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
