So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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