he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
