i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
