So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize