Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
