i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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