Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
