Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Someone signed my nipple.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
