Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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