this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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