"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
