my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
