I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
