i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
