Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize