I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i would punch a child for taco bell
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
