real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
