worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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