Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
