I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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