Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's never too late to be topless.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
