I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
