WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
