You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just forgot I was standing up.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
