Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize