have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize