Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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